Much like last year, the holidays have got me in an artistic funk. And much like last year, I’ve let that funk keep me from enjoying any sort of creativity as well as enjoying the holidays.

The whole scenario has got me thinking about my own priorities and where the many things in my life lie. In my mind I have the following things that I try to prioritize.

My Family

Wife
Son

My Guilty Pleasures

Astronomy
Video Games
– EVE Online
– World of Warcraft
– Everything else

My Creativity

Writing
Drawing/Painting
Photography

My Career

Continued Education
Striving to excel at what I do

Truth-be-told, since I have started writing or calling myself a writer, most everything on that list has suffered except the family stuff. Now, I’m sure Brad will tell me that if I want to be a writer I have to make sacrifices and I he wouldn’t be wrong. But when I consider that statement and then consider the sacrifices that I need to make, well… frankly, I don’t want to be a writer that much.

The key to the puzzle is, not calling myself a writer but rather, an artist. Is it semantics? Certainly, but the assertion that I am a writer carries the burden of actually writing and doing so with purpose. That is where the problem lies.

There are times when I have some brilliant idea that I simply cannot wait to get on paper. In those moments there is nothing I want to be more than a writer. But when there is no burning story idea that is threatening to burst from me, writing is a chore. A chore that I dread. A chore that I avoid. That avoidance is a source of guilt and to my feeble mind, a sign of failure.

Now, calling myself an artist is different. As an artist I am identified as a creative individual. To take that a bit further, a creative individual who produces some sort of physical or virtual art. But there is no imposed idea of what sort of art. Only that when I have an idea, be it prose, visual or otherwise, I run with it and feed off whatever creative energy is there.

The bottom line is… I don’t want to be a novelist. I don’t want to make a living writing. I don’t think I can make a living as an artist but I am certain that I can harvest the enjoyment of creating something that I think is beautiful in its own way without the soul crushing burden of output expectations. And quite frankly, that is all I desire.

How ya like that title, eh? Thought provoking.

Thanksgiving weekend was nice. I needed the break. Work has been crazy for the past few months and only recently began to let up.

I got to spend a little time with my Mom. I don’t make time for her very often, though I know I should. Our family isn’t close, never has been, but it’s nice to get to see her. I hope to get to see my brother and sister and their families for Christmas, or around then.

My wife’s family is the polar opposite of mine. They spend too much time together. Okay, too much isn’t fair but they do spend a lot of time together. So much that there is a day devoted to spending time together. It’s kinda creepy but after nearly nine years of being around them, I’m not sure what I used to do on Tuesday nights. I’m sure it was pretty boring anyhow.

On Thanksgiving morning I participated in the annual Turkey Trot here in Louisville. The event is annual, my participation is not. Or rather, hasn’t been up till now. I actually knew very little about the run. Absent from my mind were details such as: it’s a five mile race, not a five kilometer race and the first mile and a half are almost entirely uphill.

Remember kids. Read the fine print.

I finished in an hour and ten minutes or so. An average of fourteen minute miles. Truth be told I was probably averaging 10-11 minute miles when I was running but I walked at least 1.5 miles of the race. It was brutal. I’ll post a link to the official results when they are live.

On the plus side, I didn’t finish last. And I’m stoked to do something like it again.

As soon as I can walk without a limp. *grumble*

I’ve started this post at least five times in the last ten minutes which is possibly another sign of the trend I’ve noticed. I can’t decide what I want to do. I mean, I know that I have all this creative energy that I need to find a home for, but the question of how I want to spend it is still unanswered.

My writing is going well; much better than I could have hoped really. After only eighteen months of writing, my success rate has been pretty high depending on how you define success. Only recently have I nailed my first publication, but I have another coming up in January and I’m on a solid Honorable Mention streak with the Writers of the Future. Many, many people enter that contest for years before getting anything more than a straight rejection.

But here it is November 25th and I still haven’t started my fourth quarter story. I don’t even have an idea of what I want to write. Sure I have ideas, but nothing that I think is the right stuff for the contest. Every time I think I want to write I end up doing something else. Usually drawing but sometimes playing video games or annoying my wife or having a beer or watching football. The distraction doesn’t necessarily matter so much as the real issue, procrastination.

All of these things, even drawing, are really just reasons not to write. This blog post is more or less a reason not to write. I went through this last year too except I didn’t have any other creative outlet to soak up the energy. I think I need to put the pan and pencil away until I’ve finished something for the contest. I write well under pressure but I hate sending a hurried piece out to WotF.

My interview with K. D. Wentworth has gone live over at Fantasy Magazine. It’s a non-fiction credit but a credit is a credit. Go check it out!

(Notice I didn’t say writing.)

I wish that the title of this post where at least a little bit of a joke but the truth is that I’m more than a little bit like my mother. She would rearrange what furniture we had on an almost weekly basis. As if there was some optimal configuration of rickety, tattered furniture that would create and illusion of quality and style. Perhaps with the same goals, I’ve re-designed the site again to the form you see before you.

So far the reviews (Scott) have been positive.

I recently received word that my story Normal will be published in the January 16th issue of The Absent Willow Review. This will mark my first publication so I’m pretty stoked about it.

I also got word that I have received third consecutive Honorable Mention in the Writers of the Future contest. I’m nothing if not consistent. I hope that my most recent story, my sixth entry, does better. The deadline for this quarter is December 31st. I haven’t even begun writing yet so I need to get in gear.

The reason I said art and not writing in the title is because I have been trying to get acquainted with digital drawing/painting. It’s a slow process and is slowed additionally by my tool-set but I’m making progress. I hope to have some roughs that I like posted by the end of the year. I’m amazed that my reluctance with writing carries over to drawing.

I can sit with my stylus on the pad, unmoving, for what seems like hours, afraid to move it for fear of creating something terrible. I had the same problem with writing when I first started so I suspect I’ll get over it in time.

I’ll try and post here more often in the future.

I know I haven’t posted much here but I have a good reason. You see… I’ve been posting elsewhere.

As most of my handful of readers know, David Steffen and I have started a zine together called Diabolical Plots. It is a site for writers and fans of the genre that keeps those of us that are simply too brilliant for real life to entertain, speculative fiction. We cover the full gamut of medium in which this genre lives including movies and video games. Go check it out if you’ve got a minute.

In the meantime since my last post I’ve hit some personal milestones in my writing. Most exciting among them is my 50th story submission that went out this weekend. Sadly, I received a rejection within hours. Thank you, Escape Pod. :)

I refuse to take that speedy rejection as a sign to bury my head in the sand.

I’ve also got my Race score up to 11 EDIT: Sorry Dave! Wrote this thinking I would go back and cal my score and forgot. Oops!

Another milestone is that I mailed my 5th consecutive submission to the Writers of the Future contest. The past two submissions have come back as honorable mentions so I’m hoping for at least that this time around. The first round of HMs has come out and I wasn’t on the list so either my rejection is in the mail, my story hasn’t been read yet or, hopefully, it has been set aside for a possible finalist or better.

Another milestone, which is kinda giggly, is that I submitted a story to an erotica market for the first time. It’s a risque story that I wrote last year that I’ve just run out of scifi markets for. It wasn’t written with erotica in mind but it has some rather explicit sex on screen, at least for me.

Lastly, there are some changes coming to the website soon. I’m going to change the front page focus to accent my visual art and photography. Writing is still a big part of my creative identity but the current site layout doesn’t really allow me to showcase my art.

Forty years ago Neil Armstrong became the first human being to set foot on another celestial body. His words which are still some of the most recognizable even today were powerful and telling of a nation of people who saw hope and promise in a time of political and social unrest. I wasn’t alive then but I can imagine that many thought we would now be flying to and from the moon routinely by now.

But priorities and ideas change, as they are wont to do, and now forty years later we are no closer to a permanent lunar presence than we were the day Neil proclaimed his giant leap. Don’t get me wrong. We’ve done a thing or two in space since then. The Hubble Space Telescope, Skylab and the International Space Station are just a few of the amazing triumphs that the US has been a part of. But now, with our home under the threat of global warming and the depletion of fossil fuels, we are throttling down space exploration when we should be expanding.

CNN Reports that a proposal is on the table to scrap ISS in 2016 citing that we have to use Russian capsules to supply and transport crew to the station. This colossal international effort costing billions of dollars that isn’t even completed has already been given its death sentence. NASA funding is being slashed and many important programs including those intended to one day put man on Mars are struggling to survive.

A colleague and friend of mine recently had a discussion about the space exploration budget. He argued that the money was a waste and there were plenty of things here on Earth to spend that money on. Anyone who would argue against that point would have to have their head in the clouds. But to call it a waste seems pretty short sighted to me.

World renowned physicist Stephen Hawking says that space exploration is essential to the survival of the human race. I don’t know about you but I am not even as smart as Stephen Hawking’s shoe strings so I tend to give his opinion a little more weight.

Scrapping ISS seems like a bad idea to me for a number of reasons. Politically we would take a hit in the space race but the ISS is more than a 1up on other space faring nations. It’s a laboratory where countless experiments and scientific advances have been made. It could also serve as a good staging point for future missions to the Moon and Mars.

I find it hard to believe that NASA cannot come up with a rocket mounted capsule that is capable of docking with the ISS and delivering astronauts. It just seems silly to send a multi-billion dollar space station down in flames when it could be put to good use. We are talking about the United States government though, so why am I surprised?

I’m sitting in a dark convention hall with about two hundred other like-minded people. The room is divided into two areas, Alpha and Bravo sections and each section consists of row after row of folding tables with all sorts of computer equipment piled on top. Everything from laptops to e-machines to water cooled gaming rigs. There are more of that latter than the former but some people, like myself, like to travel somewhat light.

This is my seventh MillionManLan (MML). I’ve only missed one since its inception when my wife and I were in the Bahamas on our honeymoon. I have a feeling that this will be my last MML. I’ve had an okay time but lately I just haven’t really been too excited about video games. Maybe this thirty year old man-child is finally growing up or perhaps other pursuits have taken over.

I’ve spent about thirty hours here this weekend, far less than the sixty to seventy hours I spent at MML1. Back then I didn’t have a wife, kid or personal hygiene to worry about. Of the thirty or so hours I have only spent maybe ten hours actually playing video games. Most of those were only because my friends were playing and despite my melancholy about video games of late, I still enjoy the social experience of gaming with friends.

What I missed during this event was a great deal of writing time and a considerable amount of sleep. Both are things I value more than video games these days.

It’s been a good run. MML 8 marks the 44th Lanwar event of which I attended at least twenty over the years. I’ve made some great friends and if it weren’t for Lanwar I would have never gotten to know my best friend and he would have never introduced me to my wife and we would never have produced the most awesome little guy in the world.

When I hit publish for this post I will close my laptop and pack up to leave. When I walk out the doors to this familiar hall I will do so for the last time.

As an aspiring writer I find the internet to be an extremely valuable tool as well as a colossal drain on my writing time. There are fantastic resources available to new writers that quite frankly I would not have survived without. On the other hand, even these great resources can be an excuse not to write. I’ve listed the links to each website or tool that I have used in my short journey as a writer. I hope you find them useful but I caution you to only use what you need at the moment.

No matter how much you read about writing, nothing can replace the value of putting words to the page and nothing you read on the internet will improve your writing more than simply practicing the craft of writing. So use these resources but use them when you can’t be writing.

Blogs

Writer blogs are a dime a dozen and the quality and experience ranges from the unknown aspirant right up to the prolific professional. There is something to take from each of the blogs I have listed. Gain inspiration from the unknown pups and gain motivation from the old dogs.

Dean Wesley Smith is a prolific writer who has written and edited dozens of novels. He also has donated an inordinate amount of his time and efforts to shepherding new writers along the path to success.

Kristine Kathryn Rusch is another great writer who has given a great deal back to the aspirant community. She blogs about her own writing along with tips on writing and marketing. In particular, check out here Freelancer’s Survival Guide posts.

David Farland is another outstanding author. His Runelord books are one of my favorite epic fantasy series of all time. His blog is mostly fan service but he offers a great semi-daily email with writing and marketing tips for new writers call the Kick in the Pants. Check it out!

Diabolical Plots is a great website by an aspirant writer who is just started to poke his head through the professionally published ceiling. David Steffen has writing advice and tips as well as movie reviews and interviews of major players in the genre fiction industry.

Brad R. Torgersen is another aspirant who I believe is on the verge of making the jump to pro writer. His blog details his journey, successes and failures, as he strives to make that elusive first sale.

Marketing Tools

Ask any long time pro and they will tell you that writing the stories is only half the fight to becoming a great writer. Some might say it isn’t even half. You also must know how to get your stories/novels in front of the right person so it can be purchased. There are a few online tools that are extremely valuable for any writer who is about to send out their manuscript.

Duotrope Digest is easily the most comprehensive publication database for short fiction available. They keep stats on response times and tons of other meta data that can come in handy when trying to figure out what market is best for you manuscript.

Ralan.com is another useful site for finding markets. There is a lot of additional content here as well that might be useful as you begin to learn your craft. Careful though, it’s easy to get lost in this one.

Workshops

For many of us there simply isn’t a good local writers group to find peers who can help you on your way. Starting a writers group can be a tough task and will likely only serve to suck even more life from your personal writing time. Not to mention the fact that these small groups are often looked down upon by pros as more of a hindrance than a springboard to success. So we turn online to large writers groups that hopefully don’t suffer from too much drama.

Hatrack River Writers Workshop was started by Orson Scott Card but he is not directly affiliated with the group. You will never see him on the board, at least I haven’t. Instead it is run by the mysterious Shy who must be obeyed. Some know her has Kathleen Dalton Woodbury. This is a great bunch of aspiring writers who will welcome you with open arms. Participation isn’t directly monitored so you can come and go as you please. But like anything worth doing, you will only get out what you put in.

Whoever started Online Writers Workshop must not have had much imagination left the day they came up with the name for this website but what they did have was the forethought to put together a good set of rules to make an online writers workshop hum. OWW is a great workshop for new writers. There are strict participation requirements but they should be easy to manage for any serious writer.

Critters Workshop is an entirely automated writer’s workshop. Every week the system mails out a new set of stories to all of the members and they are then critiqued and posted to the site. Like OWW there are participation requirements but also like OWW they should be no problem for anyone who is truly interested in improving their prose.

There is no doubt hundreds of good writing websites out there and I’m sure I have left out several of the best. Please feel free to add your suggestions via the comments. If we can get a good list going I will change this post to a permanent resource for new writers.

Thanks for Joni over at The Writers of the Future contest; I now know that I’ve received my second Honorable Mention in a row. What does that mean? Not a lot really. Don’t get me wrong, it means that my story was in the top 50 or so out of thousands of entries but beyond that it doesn’t mean much. It does show a sign of consistency though and that is a good thing. I hope it is a trend that I can build upon.

I want to say congrats to everyone who received good news today about their story; specifically to Brad R. Torgersen who I am in a writers group with. He was a finalist last quarter! Hopefully one day I can claim the same.

If you don’t see your name up on the blog and you are still waiting, there are more Honorable Mentions coming so don’t lose hope yet!

I’m not keeping up with my goals as well as I would like but I’m writing which is more than I could say last month. Time to get back to the grindstone…